Your Just a Man

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Tag: Men Supporting Men

  • Redefining Masculinity: Breaking Free and Being Real

    Redefining Masculinity: Breaking Free and Being Real

    “The best way to destroy something is to pretend it’s not there.” – Terry Crews

    Hey everyone,

    Growing up, I lost count of how many times I heard stuff like “Man up” or “Real men don’t cry.” So, I did what I thought I was supposed to do—I shoved my feelings down, put on a tough face, and tried to fit into this idea of what a man is “supposed” to be. But honestly, it never felt right.

    Society hands us this script: be strong, don’t show weakness, always be in control. But let’s face it—that script can be suffocating. It boxes us into a narrow definition of masculinity that doesn’t leave much room for who we really are.

    I want to chat about pushing back against these expectations, figuring out what being a man truly means, and finding real strength in just being ourselves.

    The Unspoken Rules We’ve Been Living By

    Ever since we were kids, we’ve been told to hide our emotions. “Boys don’t cry,” they’d say. And the heroes we see in movies? They never seem to have a bad day.

    But you know what? Hiding our struggles doesn’t make them go away. In fact, it can make us feel isolated and mess with our mental health. Studies show that men are less likely to get help for things like depression or anxiety because we’re scared of looking weak.

    So here’s the question: Is this version of masculinity actually helping us, or is it holding us back?

    Learning from Terry Crews

    Let’s talk about Terry Crews for a minute. You might know him from TV or his NFL days. On the surface, he fits the typical image of a “man’s man.” But Terry’s been open about breaking away from harmful stereotypes.

    In his book, Tough: My Journey to True Power, he says:

    “Vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s our greatest strength.”

    That really hit me. Here’s a guy who’s physically strong admitting that real power comes from being open about our struggles.

    How I’m Rethinking Masculinity (And How You Might, Too)

    Changing how we think about being a man isn’t about ditching strength; it’s about expanding what strength means.

    1. “Man Rules”

    Lets think abouot these rules- “dont show emotion” and “always be the provider.” Thinkng about it was a wake-up call. It showed me how heavy these expectations can be.

    Let’s take a moment: Do these rules really reflect who I am or who I want to be?

    2. Being Open

    I’ll be honest, this hasn’t been easy, but I’m finding it rewarding to be more open. Sharing my thoughts with people I trust—whether it’s chatting with a close friend or writing in my journaln even starting this blog—has been freeing. I’m excited to keep moving toward more honesty and connection!

    3. Build Real Connections

    I’m looking for relationships where being genuine is valued. It’s amazing how much deeper conversations go when both people are willing to be real.

    Next time you’re talking with someone, try asking, “How are you really doing?” You might be surprised by the answer.

    4. Setting a New Example

    I’m trying to be the kind of person I wish I’d had around when I was younger. By opening up and showing that it’s okay to express emotions, maybe I can encourage others to do the same.

    Why This Hits Home for Me

    I watched a video called [“I’m Alright Too, Brother!”] @stevebam56: Im alright too bother! , and it really struck a chord. It highlights the silent struggles many of us deal with.

    I totally get how heavy these expectations can feel. Watching that video reminded me that we’re not alone. If any of this resonates with you, I suggest giving it a watch. It’s okay to admit when things are tough—that’s part of being human.

    We’re all in this together, trying to redefine what masculinity means. By being real and opening up, we can help each other break down these limiting expectations and find a more fulfilling way to live. Let’s support each other as we navigate this path!

    As Terry Crews said:

    “Masculinity is a gift, not a weapon.”

    Let’s Chat

    What do you think? Have you ever felt pressured by what society expects? How are you defining masculinity on your own terms?

    Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s be there for each other on this journey.

    Thanks for reading. If this spoke to you, please share it with someone who might need to hear it.

  • The Power of Vulnerability: Breaking the Silence

    The Power of Vulnerability: Breaking the Silence

    Society often tells men to be strong and silent, but true strength lies in embracing our vulnerabilities. I recall a pivotal moment when I was alone in upstate New York, at SUNY New Paltz. Born and raised in New York City, this was my first time truly away from home. Surrounded by unfamiliar faces and far from the comfort of my family, I found myself confronting old memories and emotions that I had buried long ago.

    Feeling overwhelmed, I experienced a wave of anxiety that caught the attention of the program’s counselors and staff. They offered their support and introduced me to an exercise: writing a letter to address a childhood trauma. In this letter, I expressed my feelings as if speaking directly to the person involved, with the understanding that I would never send it. The process concluded with burning the letter, symbolically releasing those long-held emotions. This act of vulnerability brought a sense of relief, allowing me to close old chapters and move forward.

    This experience taught me the power of vulnerability. By opening up in a supportive environment, I learned that sharing our struggles can lead to healing and growth. It also showed me that we don’t have to carry our burdens alone; there are people willing to listen and help. Since then, I’ve become more open to sharing my feelings with trusted friends and family, leading to deeper, more meaningful relationships. Embracing vulnerability has become a source of strength, allowing me to connect with others on a deeper level and fostering a sense of community and understanding.

    Interactive Exercises

    As we navigate the journey of vulnerability together, here are a couple of exercises you might find helpful:

    1. Letter Writing: Try writing a letter to someone from your past or present, expressing feelings you’ve been holding onto. Whether you choose to keep or destroy the letter, the act of writing can be a powerful release.

    2. Mindful Reflection: Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and reflect on your emotions. Focus on your breathing, acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and allow yourself to just be present.

    Join the Conversation

    We invite you to share your experiences or thoughts on these exercises in the comments. Your insights could help others on their journey and foster a supportive community where we can all learn and grow together.

  • Overcoming Emotional Burdens: A Man’s Journey

    Overcoming Emotional Burdens: A Man’s Journey

    When I was 12, my mom was getting married, and my dad told me something I’ll never forget. He said, “If your mom gets married, I’m not going to pay for your private school.” At that age, I didn’t know what to do, but I did know one thing: my mom wouldn’t be able to afford it. So I made a decision. I went up to her and said, “Don’t worry about it—I’ve always wanted to go to public school. Do your thing.”

    Looking back, I realize I shouldn’t have had to make that decision at 12 years old. But moments like that shaped me into the person I am today. I’ve become someone who instinctively tries to help others before thinking about myself. I take on other people’s problems and do my best to solve them, but in the process, I often leave my own struggles unattended.

    The Burden of Always Being “The Fixer”

    This mindset has followed me into adulthood. I’m the person people turn to when they need help. It’s as if there’s an unspoken rule: “Here comes Omar to save the day.” But the truth is, no one’s ever been there to do the same for me. Or maybe I haven’t let them. I don’t let people in—not fully. I’ll share pieces of my story with different people, but there isn’t one person who knows the whole picture. Why? Because I’m the man. I’m supposed to be the strong one.

    When I’m struggling, I don’t vent. I don’t ask for help. I just stay quiet and isolate myself. And when the weight gets too heavy, I self-destruct. I put everyone else’s problems ahead of my own until I can’t anymore. But even in those moments, I’ve found a way to rebuild.

    Rebuilding After the Fall

    What’s helped me the most is my willingness to start over. I’m not afraid of failure, and I’m not afraid to reflect on where I’ve been and what I’ve learned. For example, if a relationship ends, I use that time to reflect and recalibrate. Being alone can be hard, but it forces me to look inward and figure out where I stand. And when I’m ready, I get up and keep moving forward.

    A Message for Other Men

    If you’re carrying too much, feeling alone, or afraid to let others in, know this: you’re not alone.

    Life isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting back up every time you do. Even when it feels like you’re carrying everything alone, remember that moving forward, even one small step, is a victory.

    Find someone you can share pieces of your story with. It doesn’t have to be everything all at once, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just starting to open up—even a little—can make a huge difference. And if you feel like there’s no one to turn to, start with yourself. Write it down, talk it out, or simply take a moment to acknowledge what you’re feeling. You don’t have to carry it all in silence forever.

    I started this blog because I know I’m not the only one who struggles to vent, who keeps everything inside until it’s overwhelming. My hope is that through sharing my story, I can create a space where men can connect, reflect, and grow. Together, we can keep moving forward.