When I was 12, my mom was getting married, and my dad told me something I’ll never forget. He said, “If your mom gets married, I’m not going to pay for your private school.” At that age, I didn’t know what to do, but I did know one thing: my mom wouldn’t be able to afford it. So I made a decision. I went up to her and said, “Don’t worry about it—I’ve always wanted to go to public school. Do your thing.”
Looking back, I realize I shouldn’t have had to make that decision at 12 years old. But moments like that shaped me into the person I am today. I’ve become someone who instinctively tries to help others before thinking about myself. I take on other people’s problems and do my best to solve them, but in the process, I often leave my own struggles unattended.
The Burden of Always Being “The Fixer”
This mindset has followed me into adulthood. I’m the person people turn to when they need help. It’s as if there’s an unspoken rule: “Here comes Omar to save the day.” But the truth is, no one’s ever been there to do the same for me. Or maybe I haven’t let them. I don’t let people in—not fully. I’ll share pieces of my story with different people, but there isn’t one person who knows the whole picture. Why? Because I’m the man. I’m supposed to be the strong one.
When I’m struggling, I don’t vent. I don’t ask for help. I just stay quiet and isolate myself. And when the weight gets too heavy, I self-destruct. I put everyone else’s problems ahead of my own until I can’t anymore. But even in those moments, I’ve found a way to rebuild.
Rebuilding After the Fall
What’s helped me the most is my willingness to start over. I’m not afraid of failure, and I’m not afraid to reflect on where I’ve been and what I’ve learned. For example, if a relationship ends, I use that time to reflect and recalibrate. Being alone can be hard, but it forces me to look inward and figure out where I stand. And when I’m ready, I get up and keep moving forward.
A Message for Other Men
If you’re carrying too much, feeling alone, or afraid to let others in, know this: you’re not alone.
Life isn’t about never falling—it’s about getting back up every time you do. Even when it feels like you’re carrying everything alone, remember that moving forward, even one small step, is a victory.
Find someone you can share pieces of your story with. It doesn’t have to be everything all at once, and it doesn’t have to be perfect. Just starting to open up—even a little—can make a huge difference. And if you feel like there’s no one to turn to, start with yourself. Write it down, talk it out, or simply take a moment to acknowledge what you’re feeling. You don’t have to carry it all in silence forever.
I started this blog because I know I’m not the only one who struggles to vent, who keeps everything inside until it’s overwhelming. My hope is that through sharing my story, I can create a space where men can connect, reflect, and grow. Together, we can keep moving forward.
Your Just a Man 
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